Dated 6-6-2005
For Immediate Release
Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced this morning that the transition to Intel based cpu's was only half the story, it turns out that the new Apple systems will also be shipped with Windows XP.
"To make the transition easier for our users, the default XP interface and start menu will be mangled into an ugly cerulean blue background with a semi-transparant bar that takes up half the screen and allows the user to pan left and right through caricature-sized icons" said Jobs, he then went on about their plans for web browsing functionality and media support "What we did was take Internet Explorer and put a Safari-like skin on it, then changed the registry key to make the title bar say 'Safari", we don't expect our users to notice any difference except that the majority of internet sites work now....as for digital media, we've already ported Quicktime to the Windows platform, but in the interest of not crashing the operating system, we decided to make a plug in for Windows Media Player that allows it to play our proprietary audio formats."
Asked about the issue of pricing, Jobs had this to say, "Well, it was pretty obvious that we have a hardcare fan base that made their entire purchasing decision on the remark 'Oh it's so cute!!!', so we will be leaving the outer case design virtually unchanged so people will still gladly pay $3000 for each system."
On the Nasdaq this evening, shares of Apple Computer stock rose 573%, making millionaires out of hundreds of aging hippies in the California and Arizona states on the U.S. West Coast.
Jobs declined comment on rumors of Apple Computers and Microsoft merging to create the Macrosoft Corporation.
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