http://petcare.umn.edu/Fun&Games/DogJokes.htm
Q. Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A. Because you can't bury them in the sky!
Two men are sitting on a bench, one man saw a dog by the other man and asked if his dog
bit. The man said no. So the other man reaches down to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
The Man said I thought you said your dog don't bite. The other man said "that's not my dog"
NEIGHBOUR: Come quickly! Come quickly! Your dog just bit a man riding a bike!
SAM: What's the matter with that dog?! I told him he couldn't ride his bike today!
Q. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A. It stole the show!
Q. How did bulldogs get such flat noses?
A. From chasing parked cars!
Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!
Leana walked into her living room and saw her brother playing chess with their dog.
"Amazing!" she sputtered. This must be the smartest dog in the history of the world!"
He's not so smart," her brother mumbled. "I've beaten him three out of five games so far."
SAM: "Why do you say Rex is a carpenter dog?"
OLLIE: Last night, he made a bolt for the door"
The dinner guest was enjoying his meal at the Johnson's, except for one small problem. The family dog kept staring
and staring at him. Finally, the guest couldn't take it anymore. "Why is your dog staring at me like that?" he asked.
"Oh, don't mind him," said Mr. Johnson. "He's just angry because you're eating from his plate!"
Q. Why is a dog's nose in the middle of its face?
A. Because it's the scenter!
Q. Do you know how long dogs should be bathed?
A. The same as short dogs!
Q. When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house?
A. When the door is open!
SIR LANCELOT: A horse! A horse! I must have a horse! King Arthur is in dire trouble!
INNKEEPER: Oh, valiant knight, I must apologize. That old dog sleeping by the
fireplace is the only animal I possess.
SIR LANCELOT: Very well then, innkeeper I will take him!
INNKEEPER: No, sir, I couldn't allow it. I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this!
DOG: Moo moo moo!
MAN: Hey - you're a dog. How come you're going "moo moo moo"?
DOG: I'm learning a foreign language!
DOG: Cluck cluck cluck.
MAN: Hey - you're a dog. How come you're going "cluck cluck cluck"?
DOG: I got tired of saying "moo moo moo"!
DOG: Foow foow foow!
MAN: Hey - you're a dog. Shouldn't you be saying "woof woof woof"?
DOG: My mother always said I was a little backward!
SCARED PERSON: Please! Call your dog off! Call your dog off!
MARVIN: Sorry, I can't. I've always called him "Henry" and it's too late to change now!
Q. Why shouldn't you tell these dog jokes while ice-skating?
A. The ice might crack up!
WOMAN: I'm sorry, this dog is sick. He doesn't bark. He goes tick, tick, tick.
SHOPKEEPER: Yes, ma'am. That's because he's a watchdog!
WOMAN: Well, if he's a watchdog, why is he running around in circles?
SHOPKEEPER: He's all wound up!
For more of these jokes, click the link at the top of this post.
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